Pentecost Sunday

Saturday night the followers of the Way finish their "Eucharistic Feast" and disperse from the Upper Room, agreeing to meet early the next morning as had become their custom since the Lord's resurrection. They refer to Sundays now as "the Lord's Day."

So, early in the morning they begin to trickle into town to visit Joseph's house again.Up in the Cenacle, all are in quiet meditation contemplating the events over the last months, preparing to celebrate the Lord's Supper again when a terrible noise roars overhead. Is it a thunderstorm? Is it the a Roman raid upon the town? What is happening?

As they are raising eyes upward from where the sound came, through the very roof of the building, as if it were not made of stone but paper, a blazing fire pours into the room. The ball of flames then seems to break up into so many sparks of fire and each one softly falls and rests upon the heads of each disciple in the room.

No sooner did this occur than the disciples, each and every one, find themselves overcome by gladness of heart. Joy bursts forth from deep within. They cannot contain themselves and each and all of them blurt out their feelings to the Father of love, to each other, to themselves---they do not even know who they are addressing---they only know that they must speak or they will explode.

But as they praise and sing and shout with excitement they are hardly aware that the words they speak are not in their own languages, not Aramaic,nor Hebrew, but something else. What are they doing? What are they saying?--Oh, they hardly know--except that God's Love has filled them and overcome them in a way that is beyond them!

The Blessed Mother is here among them and She is laughing and crying and Her hands are raised in prayer. Lazarus and his sisters are here... Oh, they are all like children at a wedding feast! They are swinging each other around. One young couple (the bride and groom from Cana) has dashed down the steps and has burst through the door to run merrily into the streets. They have started a trend and the whole group is following them into the streets.

Some children are dancing in a ring and singing the merry songs that flow from their hearts--all different words--all different languages--and yet they harmonize with one another.

The little old lady, healed of a hemorrage, is on her knees, arms raised and praising her Maker in a language not of her own. The Blind Man, standing with arms extended, shouts out and laughs to the world before him, also in a language not of his own. The Strong Man, healed of many demons, kneels and cries with hands folded and eyes closed, praying in the language of Love that the Holy Spirit gives him. Oh, what happy chaos! What a crazy and beautiful sight I see!--- all my people!... the Apostles, and lay people alike!

Meanwhile, many townspeople and visitors to the town, who gathered in Jerusalem for the Feast of Pentecost, are drawn to the house of Joseph, where they have just witnessed the loud noise and terrible ball of fire come crashing down upon it. They wonder what cosmic disaster is occurring. But arriving at the place they are mesmerized by the sight of this crowd, not only because of the energy and festiveness it possesses, but because of the words coming from the believer's lips. The visitors are from every part of the world, speaking many different languages and yet they are all able to understand what these simple Galileans are saying! How is this so? "How do they know our languages?"

But the towns folk who begin to recognize these people as followers of Jesus cruelly dismiss the whole affair with the accusation that "They're all drunk! They don't know what they're saying!"

This is, of course, when Peter calls them all to order and, with tears of great joy and with laughter ringing from his mouth, my dear Father Peter begins his famous discourse of Acts 2....

Waiting for the Promised Gift

The Nightly Vigils (Luke 24:52-53, Acts 1:12-26)
The day's work is over. The disciples of Jesus mingle with all the other townspeople during the day and at first sight no one would notice any difference between them, but one with a keen eye would soon note it. Their is a contentment in their facial expressions, an energy in their labors, and an eagerness in their step as they close up shop at day's end. If further observations were made, one might see that these friends of Jesus are not returning to their own homes in the evening.

One by one, two by two, the visitors arrive at the home of Joseph (of Arimathea), the house of the famous Upper Room of the Last Supper. At the door to greet them is our Blessed Mother. "Come in, come... up the stairs, now. Oh, you have brought the children! Good! Hello....hello....Oh, thank you, Jeremiah!" She is greeting all of us so kindly. People come with flasks of wine or loaves of bread. Mary receives these and hands them on to the Apostles, who bring them upstairs.

All are very excited and affectionately they greet one another, as they talk quietly, continually peering around as if making sure to keep their activities secret. The Apostles have set up a table at one end, spreading a linen cloth over it and placing the loaves and flasks of wine upon it. Joseph is slowly making his way up the stairs with the precious Chalice, wrapped in silk brocaded cloth, in his hands. He presents this to Peter, whose eyes fill with tears as he receives it. Peter takes a moment to pause and reflect upon this Chalice and the great meaning it represents to him and then carefully places it in the center of the table in front of him.

The crowd has increased in size and there now is standing room only, though everyone continues to be orderly and quiet. "My dear brethren," Peter addresses them, "let us begin with the sign of our faith. Jesus made use of the cross to save us from condemnation. Let us always use this sign as a symbol of our salvation and a friendship with Him and one another." He gestures the sign of the cross over the large crowd, turn here and there and repeating it. He then prays a prayer of absolution to which they answer in unison their 'amen.'

Peter presents the two disciples, Joseph Barsabbas Justus and Matthias before the crowd and explains that Judas' office must be filled. Before the eyes of the entire congregation the lots are cast and it falls to Matthias. "Brother Matthias, would you please read from the scroll Isaiah's prophecy? Matthias feels honored to do so and as he reads, the words fall upon their hearts like seed upon good soil. Matthias finishes and soon a melodious chant rises from the crowd and the words of Psalm 68 are sounding through the room. "Sing to the Lord, O kingdoms of the earth! God arises; His enemies are scattered, and those who hate Him flee before Him...."

The chant ends and it is Peter who breaks the silence: "Please, my dear ones, please sit if you can. I wish to relay to you the events that have occurred and what wonders the Lord has wrought that you may be informed. Dearest Brother John, would you kindly tell us again of the things Jesus spoke to us on the night of that Last Supper with Him?"

My sweet father in faith, John speaks up in his calm but passionate voice. He relates the events as he saw them. I see such humility in him as he speaks, as I see in each of the other Apostles, who continue standing but off to the side with arms folded and knowing smiles glistening on their tear-stained faces.

When John's account is finished, Peter motions for all to rise as He indicates that now he should like to recall the Sacred Words Jesus spoke on that blessed night. Each of the Apostles takes his place behind the altar on either side of Peter and picks up a loaf of bread as Peter speaks clearly and slowly the words of consecration. All of the loaves are elevated and quiet gasps ripple throughout the room. All are in awe.

More prayers of thanksgiving are spoken and Peter lifts up the beautiful Chalice, now full of the Blood of the Lamb. There is not a dry eye in the room as the Cup is lifted up for all to worship. The Twelve now stand bowing in humble adoration before they again pick up the loaves and begin breaking them and distributing them among the people. As each believer receives the morsel, he/she drops down to kneel in ecstasy. When all are on their knees, Peter begins to share the Cup until all are nourished.
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And so progress the days of waiting behind locked doors as the believers meet secretly each evening; praying, listening to the Apostles words, and breaking the Sacred Bread together, until the promised Holy Spirit should come to them. Each one is rapt in wonder and amazement and oh! how they hug and cry and laugh and greet one another with their holy kisses! Such pure, holy, beautiful affection!

Ascension Thursday

Jesus has appeared many times to His friends since the Resurrection. He is walking with them now toward the holy mountain. Mary is now follower more than mother, though she is very highly revered by all, especially the Apostles. She is chief disciple of the Lamb Who was slain. She it was who remained by His side every moment of His earthly life. Of all the apostles it is John who takes special care of her and has her by the arm even now as we walk.

Now we have reached the top . Jesus stands towering over all of us. I am in love with Him. He is all beautiful, all lovely, all perfect! He has conquered death. There is nothing left to do. I am here at the top with Mary, my Mother, with my fathers in faith, with my brothers and sisters-- all the people from my previous meditations, all here! There are Lazarus, Martha, Mary, the thief, the shepherds, the farmers, the children, the lepers He cured, the strong man, the dead He raised, the lady at the well, and even His elderly friends. Oh, they are all here! It is as if the entire world has gathered on this mountaintop. It is a vast crowd! --a great crowd of witnesses to the Living One-- the Lamb Who was slain--The Holy One of Israel!

I hear Him--my Jesus!--speak: "You shall be my witnesses throughout the whole world! Write down what I have said and done. Go to all the lands and all the peoples until the entire earth is flooded with the waters of baptism and all the people have tasted the milk and honey of the Promised Land. Remember Me-- in all you do and think and say. I am with you always- until the end of time."

I am taking in every word, as all of us are. I am overwhelmed with love. I want to remain here forever,..... listening, watching, loving Him forever. As we surround Him, hemming Him in, Jesus begins to rise above us and clouds coming from all directions gather around and engulf Him. As I study this phenomena, I can distinguish human-like figures among the clouds and I realize that they are ushering Jesus back home to His Father. I think that Jesus must feel like I do so often in my meditations when I am "going home to Nazareth." I am happy and dazed as I watch Him rise, but I am waiting...waiting for Him to look back one last time- to give me that oh-so-familiar smile...I am waiting...

when I hear a voice close by saying, "Men of Galilee, why do you stand staring into the sky?" I am stunned and shaken as I see the bearers of these words: two angelic figures of exquisite beauty with radiant faces. "He will return to you just as surely as you saw Him leave this day!"

The messengers disappear almost as quickly as they came but their words give great comfort as I did not know why Jesus did not look upon me one more time. Now I understand that I will see Him again soon. I am full of some kind of "magical," mystical knowing deep in my soul--anticipation--eager longing--like the feeling of a bride as she says goodbye to her beloved the night before their Wedding Day.

"Mother!" I cry out. "Let us prepare! What must we do?" I am trembling with nervous energy, my hands in Mary's. She is looking at me, at each of us with her most lovely eyes twinkling and glazing with joyous tears. She smiles with uncontainable gladness.

"We must all wait in patience and allow our joy to take root; prepare our hearts for His return. He shall surely send us His Holy Spirit and then we shall be His Bride!" Our Lady encourages us.

"You may all join us in the Sacred Quarters," invites Joseph of Arimathea, speaking of the Upper Room where Jesus ate the Passover meal. "We shall meet there every night until the promise has been fulfilled." Turning to Mary he suggests, " Dearest Lady, shall we return home and make the preparations for our guests?" Then, to the vast crowd he says, "Allow us a day's preparation and meet us there tomorrow evening."

There is great excitement bubbling up within the crowd, yet they remain orderly and quiet as they dissemble for the evening. Everyone is hugging each other, caressing the children, assisting the elderly to their homes. It is the feeling of a group of friends planning a surprise party of an honored guest. All go quietly home, eagerly awaiting the meeting of tomorrow night.

Home with the Holy Family

Some days you just need to go home. I love going home where they all understand you even without you saying a word. I had a day like that this past week. My dear Father Joseph came to my door to escort me Home. Here is my account of that day.

As before, I take his hand and walk with him along the road and I become younger and younger as we walk until I am about 18 or so. Soon we arrive at Joseph's Workshop where I see Jesus as a handsome youth: His sleeves are rolled up, His hands are large and strong and He is busy assembling the pieces of a project He and His dad had been working on. He stops His work to dust Himself off and comes over to greet me. "Hello, hello, hello! Have you been in the kitchen yet to greet Mother?" He asks me.

"I've just arrived..." I am so emotional and embarrassed about the tender greeting He gives me. I feel uncontrollably in love with Him. I am attracted to everything about Him: His handsome body, His loving words, the enthusiastic way He greets me, the industrious way He works in the shop, the great respect He shows towards His parents. I feel I cannot hide my attraction and am terribly embarrassed for this.

"Oh, go, go, go!!! She'll be looking for you. She'll put you to work, too!" Jesus gently escorts me over to the kitchen, calling out, "Mom, she's here!"

"Oh, My sweet one!" rings my Lady's sweet voice as she hurries over with hugs and kisses. "Today we have some work to do with these flowers," She shows me. "You see here, they have multiplied and will need to be redistributed. Our neighbor down the road would like some planted by her well. Would you like to help with that?"

"My dear Mother, I don't know how to do anything but if You instruct me, I am willing to do everything You ask." So the happy work begins. What great joy I feel working side by side with this beautiful woman. I dig. I carry. I plant. -all alongside my lovely Mother. Close to midday we have arranged flowers in Mary's garden as well as the neighbor's garden in the most pleasing way, and we now are washing up in a water trough near the house. Jesus and Joseph are coming out of their shop, removing their aprons, and are meeting us at the trough.

"Shall we take a break and have some lunch?" Mary asks as she enters the little stone house and begins setting bowls of fruit on the table, as well as a platter of cooked fish and some bread and cheese. Jesus goes to the well and brings back a large pitcher of the cold, fresh water.

My mind returns to the day of another meditation when the Child Jesus brought me a drink from that same well. "This water will make you all clean inside, like My Momma!" He had told me back then. "Daddy drinks it all the time."

I am totally overwhelmed to be here surrounded by these People. I have worked all morning but instead of tired I am refreshed, my heart overflows with gladness and I feel I am going to burst. I am blinking away emotional tears, being overcome with joy. Jesus, Mary and Joseph notice this and are shooting each other their knowing glances and trying to stifle their smiles. Finally, when we are all seated at table, Jesus leans over towards His Mother, cupping His mouth and whispering loudly, "I think she likes us!"

"Jesus and I have finished the bed for Jedediah and we are going to deliver it this afternoon," Joseph announces to Mary. "Is there anything You need me to do on that side of town?"

"Oh yes, My love! Sarah has some herb cuttings for Me... and could you bring these loaves to Susannah? She has so much to do now that her mother-in-law has moved in. I am going to take some things down to the Suffering Ones," Mary replies and then, turning to me She says, "Would you like to join Me?"

"Mother, I will do anything...everything... You ask of me!" As we are tidying up the dining area, Mary pulls out a large basket into which She arranges the food leftover from their lunch. (Actually, they hardly ate any of the delicious looking meal!) She broke off some branches of Her lilac bush to decorate the arrangement. She also neatly folded some beautifully embroidered tunics and placed them in the center of a scarf she had spread out on the table. After tying corners together, She held the bundle lovingly to Her breast as I picked up the basket.

Mary has the most genteel manner about Her. She appears as lively as an energetic child. Her youthful smile and twinkling eyes never dim. She is quick and efficient with every movement, yet never seems impatient nor irritable. When She talks to you, you feel that you are the most important person in the world. When I am with Her, I do not want to lose any time telling Her anything. I only want to listen, to watch, and to drink in every moment with Her.


We arrive at our destination, which is a lonely cave quite a ways from Nazareth. It looks like a place where wild animals would take shelter. Weeds are overgrown; wild flowers and bramble are its only garden. There is not a road nearby, but only a narrow path which we have taken and Mary seems to be very familiar with it. "My dear Joseph will have to help Me to trim the path here tomorrow. The weeds are making it hard to get through," Mary says as She pulls down some tall grass, clearing the way a little. "Salome! Hello, Salome!" She begins to call out. All of a sudden I hear a tinkling of bells like delightful little chimes coming from the cave.

"Unclean!" I hear a raspy, weak voice speak out from within.

"God's love makes you clean, mother!" calls back the Blessed Lady.

A figure draped in old rags emerges from the mouth of the cave. "Mary!" rasps the figure, unveiling her head to reveal a grey-haired, bent woman with an almost toothless grin and sunken cheeks. She clasps her cloak with the bony fingers of one hand and the handless stump of her other arm. "Oh bless You, my sweet Lady! Oh bless You, daughter!" she proclaims before she becomes choked on her words. I am moved to pity at this scene. Behind the woman, some other figures peak out, all showing the ravaging signs of leprosy.

"Come, My dear," Mary addresses me, waking me from my stupor. "Bring them their supper!" I present the lovely basket to the "Suffering Ones."

"Oh! Mmmm...Ooo!" I hear the poor invalids mutter. One brings a large blanket out of the cave and spreads it in an open area under the sunshine. "Today we feast!" he proclaims as they gather around, seating themselves on the blanket. Mary leads me to a large, flat rock where we seat ourselves as the family dines. They seem starved and are not waiting to satisfy their hunger but Salome interrupts them for a moment.

"Are we not forgetting something, children?" Sheepishly, they all put down their food and close their eyes. Salome begs my Mother, "Please, my Lady, would You lead us in thanksgiving?"

Mary reaches for my hand and for the hand of Salome as the whole group follows suit until there is an enclosed circle. The words of the familiar "Lord's Prayer" flow copiously from Her mouth.

Everyone answers: "Amen!"

Joseph's Annunciation (part 2)

Joseph leaves Mary at Her mother's home and returns to his own house. He is disturbed with his decision but has thought it over and over in his mind. He continues to mull it over as he again works late into the night. Finally, exhaustion takes over and he lays down to rest. Sinking into a deep sleep, light fills his dreams as Gabriel appears to him with the (well-known) explanation and alternative plan of action.

What joy enters his soul. What delight fills his mind. His ecstasy cannot be contained. He laughs himself awake. "Father in Heaven, of course! Of course You may do whatever You wish! I am Your humble servant! Oh dear Father! My heavenly delight!" He laughs; he cries; he cannot contain himself. He rushes to the door and pushes it open, wanting to run to Mary and tell Her of his mistake, but it is still night and the morning star has not yet risen. So he closes the door and begins looking around in his workshop, as if trying to find something in particular. He seems satisfied to find a good piece of wood and begins working on a new project right then and there in the middle of this summer night.

Morning comes quickly and, just as quickly, comes a soft knock on Joseph's door. Joseph runs to open it and his heart is not disappointed to see before him the object of his joy standing there to greet him. The Blessed Mother stands there, innocent and pure, Her face radiating peace and love and beauty.

"Mary, my beloved Mary! My wife! My precious and blameless wife! Oh my dear, sweet angel!"
And, just like Elizabeth had done at their meeting (from another meditation), Joseph drops to his knees embracing the "Chalice of the Lord" and presses his ear to Her belly, crying and praying lovely words of adoration and praise: "My Jesus, Son of the Living God! Have mercy on me, a sinner!... Praise and thanks to You, Father, for this most holy Child!... for this most holy Mother and Her Child!"he weeps.

"My soul magnifies the Lord!...." Mary repeats Her famous song.

Over in the corner of the workshop, by candlelight I can see the project that Joseph has been working on: a baby cradle.

Joseph's Annunciation (part 1)

Yesterday was the feast Of Joseph the Worker, the day on which I married my husband 28 years ago. Back then I only had an attraction for St Joseph but did not know him personally, though I chose him for my patron saint at Confirmation at age 10. In doing the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius I have come to know him in an intimate way. I do not mean to assume that any of my thoughts are meant to be taken as "gospel truth." These are all thoughts from my own imaginings, yet they are thoughts that sustain me in this lonely, dark world.

(taken from meditations of 2/12/2010)

Joseph leaves his sweetheart, Mary, at Her cousin's house and quickly journeys home to Nazareth. He is occupied with arranging their new home and contemplating all the matters at hand. With Mary away for a few months, he will now have time to prepare their dwelling. He ponders all the circumstances, the unusual relationship he has with his fiance, the vows each of them made so long ago before they even met. God's purposes are not all clear to him but he is sure of His direction in their lives.

He has a beautiful face and his manners are so gentle, yet manly. He is strong and youthful (something I didn't picture before), yet he is so modest and humble, too. He works very hard in his shop and is very gifted in his craft. Not only does he construct furniture, but his pieces have lovely, detailed engravings in them. He is often asked to engrave pieces for other carpenters. He is well-known as a fair and honest businessman as well as a fine artisan.

He takes out time each day to clear his mind and allow the heavenly Father to speak to him. Always, before he begins his day's work, he attempts to receive direction from God. But this day he is troubled. He cannot get out of his head that he is to be a father. This would have been, normally, a very natural and joyful thought for any man engaged to woman so lovely and precious as Mary, but to him it was troubling. He had taken a vow of celebacy, as did his new bride. It was to be an unusual union, perhaps of very noble purpose. But in his mind he envisions Mary as pregnant. This is very disturbing to him and he thinks of himself as base and lowly. 'How could I imagine such a thing?!' he thinks and continues to chastise his own mind for what he thinks is perversion and loathsomeness.

So he shakes off his thoughts and decides he must fill his day with usefulness and industry. He begins to work on a table for their new home. As he works, he thinks of the loveliness of Mary: Her innocence, Her kindness, Her gentle smile, Her enthusiasm and selflessness, Her piety. She alone could help him live his vow. She alone of all women is pure and unscarred by moral flaw.

Then a thought slips into his head: "She shall bear Me a child."

"Surely this thought is from God!" he tells himself. "God wants Her to bear a child! I must surely release Her from our agreement. She is meant to be the spouse of someone else. She must also be aware of this. She too must know that our proposed marriage is not right. Oh Father in Heaven! Are these thoughts from You? I want only to do Your Will in all righteousness and love. Though I thought that You brought us together, now I believe that Her purpose is to bear a child. My own vow to You will not be broken, Father. I can only assume that You want me to release Her."

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Each day after this revelation, Joseph works well into the night, his mind churning in great turmoil. More and more he is convinced that Mary is to bear a child. Deeper and deeper perplexed he is, until he just sets aside the work he was doing for his own home and attends only to the jobs of others. Joseph always has an abundance of work to do. He is always in demand, for both his skill and his fair prices. Yet for all of this, he never seems to have any excess. Much of what he earns goes to the poor.

The day arrives for him to visit the hill country again and escort Mary home. 'She must be hearing the same direction in Her heart. What will She say to me? What should I say to Her?' he ponders.

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"Mary, my Beloved! How I have missed you!" He holds Her so tightly to his bosom and trembles with emotion. She is radiant and beautiful, still very slight in figure. The Baby within Her is not noticeable at first sight since She is wearing a shawl. Joseph tries to speak but loses his words.

"Joseph, what troubles you? Surely our Father in Heaven has spoken to you! Please tell me what He says to you!"

"We will talk as we journey. There is much to consider. " Joseph packs up the donkey and they say their good-byes to Elizabeth, Zachariah, and baby John. Such joyful company they are leaving, but how Joseph's heart sinks. There is grave silence at first as both of them are steeped in meditation: She, experiencing great consolation; he desolation.

"Mary, my sweet....." he begins, "I cannot get it out of my mind that the heavenly Father ordains that You be a mother." Mary draws Her breath in great excitement. "but....I also feel.....that He does not want me to break my vow of celibacy." Mary's eyes open wide as tears well up within them. A smile begins to spread across her face but is halted when Joseph continues. "...and so. my Beloved, I feel that I must release You from our agreement." Tears of joy turn to grief.

"Oh no! Joseph, no!!!"

"It is God's Will, my Love. I am sure of it: You will bear a child for Him. But just as sure am I that it will not be my child," he finishes.

Mary, not having the words to say continues to cry, "Oh My Beloved Joseph! No!"